I just used a Pivot Table unironically for the first time. There is no recovering from this.

Send help.

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A month later: I'm trying to use a Pivot Table in exactly the same way, but I've completely forgotten how I did it. Part of me is proud of the fact that I'm not entirely on the dark side, yet, but part of me also misses and desires the dark goodness which is a properly pivoted table.

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